


The Way We Communicate

by maeung



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dialogue Heavy, Dialogue-Only, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, dojae is wildin, the angst is actually fairly light so wow go me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 06:22:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17678117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maeung/pseuds/maeung
Summary: "What is it?""It's our relationship, told through dialogue."





	The Way We Communicate

 

> **Anonymous Penpal Project**

_Sent by: Kim Junmyeon (_ [ _kjunmyeon@snu.edu.org_ ](mailto:kjunmyeon@snu.edu.org) _)_

 _Received by:_ [ _kyeri@gmail.com_](mailto:kyeri@gmail.com) _,_ [ _marklee@yahoo.com_](mailto:markl@yahoo.com) _,_ [ _kwonsoonyng@gmail.com_](mailto:kwonsoonyng@gmail.com) _,_ [ _jungjaehyun@gmail.com_](mailto:jungjaehyun@gmail.com) _,_ [ _jcksnwangzz@gmail.com_](mailto:jwangz@gmail.com) _, [expand],_

Hello all,

As you all know, we have come upon the time in class for the anonymous penpal project that was outlined in your syllabus (that hopefully you all read).

For those of you who didn’t, the anonymous penpal project is worth 15% of your grade. You will be assigned a random partner, only identifiable by your codes. You will then be tasked with writing letters to each other, as often as possible, and must reveal enough personal information (sans name and any obvious identifying features) so your partner will hopefully be able to gather a personality analysis of the other person. Afterwards, we will compare the analysis with the other partner’s psych evaluations that we completed last semester. Then, if you wish, you may reveal yourself but no one shall be forced to.

Bonus points to those who guess their partner’s identity before the end of the project!

Best Regards,

Kim Junmyeon, PhD, Professor of Psychology

Seoul National University

 

**Assigned Number for APP**

_Sent by: Kim Junmyeon (_ [ _kjunmyeon@snu.edu.org_ ](mailto:kjunmyeon@snu.edu.org) _)_

 _Received by:_ [ _jungjaehyun@gmail.com_ ](mailto:jungjaehyun@gmail.com)

Hi Jaehyun,

Your code is j1402. Your partner is d0102. Attached you will find the link to the portal that you can speak to your partner through.

Best,

Kim Junmyeon, PhD, Professor of Psychology

Seoul National University

_+1 attachment_

 

**jae🤠 @jjaehyun ᐧ 2h**

god this psych project is so dumb. penpals?? are we 5????

 **1** reply **6** retweets **32** likes

**johnny @suhjoh ᐧ 56m**

_Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

calm down it’s so easy lmao just make shit up

 

Dear d0102,

Isn’t this project annoying? It makes me want to die, so I guess you can put suicidal on my personality analysis.

I guess I’ll just start telling you stuff, I work at a radio station, my family is from Seoul but we moved to the United States a long time ago. I like to play basketball and have fun with friends. I want a dog.

I hope that’s enough, though I doubt it lol.

From,

j1402

 

j1402,

I don’t really think the project is annoying, but you do so I put down “whiney” on your personality sheet. (I didn’t put down suicidal. We’re in college, everyone wants to die. Be unique.)

If we’re just going with simple facts, I’ll tell you some too. I work at an ice cream shop, my family is also from Seoul but we still live here so I visit them every weekend. I enjoy listening to music, sleeping, and hanging out with friends. I also want a pet, but dogs are too much effort so maybe I would get a cat or rabbit instead.

It really wasn’t enough. If you want an A, you might want to write more.

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

Why are you being so rude? Press off.

If you don’t want just facts from me then what do you want?”

And I do want an A, fuck you.

From,

j1402

 

j1402,

I was just being honest.

I guess I need insights to your life, why you do the things you do. For example: every morning I grab a cup of coffee from the cafe, not because I like coffee, but because I like the routine. I like having a set way to live my life and know exactly where I’m going.

I don’t doubt that you want an A, just put some effort into this.

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

I spend a lot of time at the radio station. I have a show with my friend, and it’s nice to spend time with him and just listen to music and talk. I think it’s good to set aside time to unwind everyday, so I really enjoy the time I have there every night.

Is that enough effort for you?  
From,

j1402

 

j1402,

Good job, I actually got some coherent notes out of that.

We should take turns to pick something and both of us write about it. Like tell me about your happiest memory.

Mine is from when I was little, and I sang for my parents at church. They were really proud of me and took me out to ice cream afterwards and even let me eat half of my older brother’s. If I could, I would relive that moment every day.

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

My happiest memory is when my friends and I broke into our high school late at night after we had graduated and we went to the roof and sat there, drinking beer until the sunrise. It was a nice way to say goodbye to a place that we had been in for so long.

Also, your memory is really cute! It seems really family focused.

I guess it’s my turn to ask you a question: what’s your biggest fear?

My biggest fear is ghosts. I can’t even watch a horror movie without hiding under a blanket the entire time.

From,

j1402

 

j1402,

Becoming like my mother, nothing wild.

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

Dude that’s way too short, how am I supposed to get any notes out of that?

From,

j1402

 

j1402,

What’s the best present you’ve ever gifted someone?

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

I gave my friend a Bop It once.

Uh can you elaborate on the fears thing? I need notes.

From,

j1402

 

Dear d0102,

Hello???? It’s been two days wtf.

From,

j1402

 

Dear d0102,

What’s your problem? I thought you were the one that wanted an A.

From,

j1402

 

j1402,

I think I figured out who you are.

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

????????

From,

j1402

 

Jaehyun,

It was pretty easy, a radio host who was from America but goes to SNU. I listen to the show sometimes, one of my friends is talking to Johnny.

From,

d0102

 

Dear d0102,

You know Taeil? And damn, I guess I gave away too many hints.

To make it even you should tell me who you are, at least so I can get those bonus points from Professor Kim too.

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

Meet me at the cafe next to the humanities building.

From,

d0102

 

“Jaehyun, right?”

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m guessing you’re my partner?”

“Yeah. My name is Kim Doyoung.”

“Nice to meet you! Wait, aren’t you our student body president?”

“That’s me.”

“That’s pretty cool, I don’t think I could ever be student body president. Too much responsibility.”

“All I really do is organize fundraisers.”

“I can barely organize my life.”

“You’re funny, Jaehyun.”

“Aw, thanks!”

“I like funny guys.”

“...well I like cute ones, so I guess we’ve both found someone.”

 

**[DOYOUNG]: hey it’s doyoung. just making sure i’m texting the right person.**

**[JAEHYUN]: hey doyoung! yeah im jaehyun lol**

**[DOYOUNG]: okay good**

**[DOYOUNG]: so do you want to meet up sometime to take a few more notes on each other?**

**[JAEHYUN]: isn’t that against the whole point of the project? prof kim wants us to just analyze each other through the letters.**

**[DOYOUNG]: i’m trying to ask you out.**

**[JAEHYUN]: oh**

**[JAEHYUN]: OH**

**[DOYOUNG]: oh?**

**[JAEHYUN]: yeah of course! sounds great :)**

**[DOYOUNG]: great. so when are you free?**

**[JAEHYUN]: how about tomorrow after psych class?**

**[DOYOUNG]: that’s good, see you then**

**[JAEHYUN]: i will ;)**

 

“You’re taking me to the same cafe?”

“It’s cheap, it’s nice, it’s close by, what’s not to like?”

“Doyoung, if you’re going to take a man on a date at least make it exciting. Hey! Stop rolling your eyes at me.”

“Well then tell me where you want to go.”

“There’s an art museum-”

“An art museum? I didn’t take the great Jung Jaehyun to be a lover of the arts.”

“I take offense to that, I love art. But anyways, wanna go there?”

“Sure. Why not? While we’re there, you can tell me about all of the paintings.”

 

“So is it a Rembrandt or a Vermeer?”

“Jesus fuck Doyoung, I don’t know.”

“I thought you were an art expert.”

“I think the paintings are pretty, I’m not some sort of expert.”

“Shame, I always thought painters were were pretty hot, in a tortured artist kind of way.”

“Shit. Well in that case, this piece is totally a Picasso.”

“...Jaehyun.”

“Look at the way the clouds in the top right hang elegantly behind those trees, it really represents they way we tend to mask our problems behind a facade of everything being alright.”

“You’re so bullshitting this.”

“I am not! Look at the corner of that bouquet of flowers, it’s wilted! That obviously represents imperfection in life.”

“What do you think of this piece?”

“The cow in the field represents fertility.”

“Oh my god.”

“What do you mean ‘oh my god?’ I’m an art expert!”

“You’re an expert at making stuff up.”

“I can be both.”

“Jaehyun, wipe that cheeky grin off of your face.”

“I don’t know, you’re smiling too so I feel like you like it.”

“I could be smiling for a lot of reasons.”

“Oh yeah? Then maybe it’s because we’re holding hands.”

“...we’re not holding hands Jaehyun.”

“Well now we are.”

 

Dear Doyoung,

So apparently we still have to write these dumb letters in order to get our participation grade. Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed our date, wanna go on another one soon?

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

I had a lot of fun too. I’d say this weekend, but I visit my family every weekend. Let’s go do something on Monday though.

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

I have to do a show that night so we can meet up right after at the radio station!

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

I’ve actually always wanted to go to one of those shows.

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

Well then I guess Monday is your lucky night.

From,

Jaehyun

 

“Hello everyone and welcome to SNU Daily on 93.6 FM. I’m your DJ Johnny,”

“And I’m Jaehyun!”

“Today we actually have a special guest watching, you might know him as our student body president.”

“Everyone say hi to Doyoung! Doyoung, wave back.”

“Jaehyun this is a radio show.”

“It’s the thought that counts Johnny.”

“Whatever. Now some of you may be asking why Doyoung is here. Well-”

“Johnny.”

“-the thing is-”

“Johnny, stop.”

“-he’s here-”

“Please don’t.”

“-on a date-”

“Johnny!”

“-with our boy Jaehyun.”

“Oh my god Doyoung I’m so sorry.”

“In celebration of their date I will now be playing two hours of love songs!”

“...fuck you Johnny.”

 

“I’m sorry about Johnny.”

“Don’t be, it was funny!”

“He can be an ass sometimes.”

“Sounds like someone I know.”

“Kim Doyoung are you insinuating something?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe you’re the one who’s an ass.”

“Nah, I think you just like mine.”

“You’re right.”

“...get your hand out of my pocket.”

“But it’s comfy!”

 

**jae🤠 @jjaehyun ᐧ 1h**

i’m really happy💜

 **3** replies **5** retweets **42** likes

**johnny @suhjoh ᐧ 48m**

_Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

watch out boys,, jaehyun dates a guy for a month and suddenly acts like a middle schooler in a relationship

**doyoung @kimdy ᐧ 42m**

_Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

i’m really happy too💛

 **moonie @moontaeil** **ᐧ 38m**

 _Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ ** _and_ **_@kimdy_ **

this is gross op, please delete

 

_Brring...brring...brring...brrin-_

“Hello?”

“Oh thank god Jaehyun, you picked up.”

“What’s up Doie?”

“Uh, I’ve run into some trouble at home this weekend, can you come pick me up?”

“I’m heading out right now.”

“Thank you.”

 

“Sorry that my car sucks, my parents got her for me when I was in highschool.”

“It’s fine Jae, I just needed to get out of there.”

“Why?”

“I-It’s kind of private.”

“Oh.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Doyoung?”

“Yeah?”

“I know we’ve only been dating for two months, but I’m always here for you if you need me.”

“I know. I-I’ll tell you one day, just give me some time.”

“I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

 

Jaehyun,

I know we don’t need to write these letters anymore because the project was turned in but I just wanted to say hi!

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

What is this really about Doie?

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

I’m bored at a student council meeting. Sue me.

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

Pay attention to the meeting, we can’t have our president being a slacker.

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

:(

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

If you do I’ll reward you ;)

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

Did you just sext me over a letter? Sextter me?

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

Do you want that reward or not?

From,

Jaehyun

 

Jaehyun,

Bye!

From,

Doyoung

 

**jae🤠 @jjaehyun ᐧ 4h**

happy 3 months baby **@kimdy** 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

 **3** replies **2** retweets **59** likes

**doyoung @kimdy ᐧ 3h**

_Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

still waiting on that reward, but happy 3 months💛💛💛

**jae🤠 @jjaehyun ᐧ 3h**

_Replying to_ **_@kimdy_ ** _and_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

oh just you wait baby😏

 **johnny @suhjoh** **ᐧ 5m**

 _Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ ** _and_ **_@kimdy_ **

pls flirt where i dont have to see it

 

“Jaehyun!”

“Mmm.”

“My neck is literally purple! I have to go speak to the school board tomorrow, how am I going to cover these up?”

“Keep ‘em. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“I really don’t think the dean wants to see my hickies.”

“Doie, it’s late, come back to bed. I’ll help you cover them up in the morning.”

“Fine.”

“You look good in my shirt.”

“It’s too big.”

“You still look good. _Really good_.”

“...what are your hands doing?”

“Thinkin’ about giving you more marks.”

“Was this your actual intention when you told me to come back to bed?”

“Maybe.”

“ _Ah_ …”

 

**[DOYOUNG]: jae csan u pikc me up againb from my parenrtss hosuoe**

**[DOYOUNG]: pleas e jeahyubn**

**[JAEHYUN]: i’ll be there asap**

 

“I’m so-so sorry”

“Doyoung! Are you okay?!”

“J-just drive Jaehyun, just drive.”

“Baby, why are you crying?”

“...”

“Doie, just tell me.”

“I can’t.”

“What?”

“I said I can’t.”

“Why not.”

“...I don’t know.”

 

“Doyoung, we need to talk.”

“...what about?”

“I think we both know.”

“I really don’t.”

“Doyoung, you’ve been keeping secrets.”

“...yeah.”

“Well?!”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to say anything?”

“I don’t think I should have to.”

“Doyoung, we’re in a relationship! Relationships are supposed to have communication!”

“You’re shouting.”

“I don’t care! You can’t keep secrets from me like this, I’ve waited for _months_ , since the first time you made me pick you up from your parents. What’s going on with you, I’m worried!”

“I-I can’t tell you.”

“Why the fuck not?!”

“...please stop yelling at me.”

“Fuck, you’re crying.”

“J-just ignore that, you’re right. You deserve to know.”

“I’m so sorry Doyoung.”

“But I can’t tell you.”

“Why not.”

“I don’t know! Just trust me, Jaehyun I can’t.”

“How can I trust you when you’re keeping secrets from me?”

“Please, just try.”

“I don’t know.”

“I swear, I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“When will that be?”

“...I don’t know.”

“Then what the fuck do you know?”

“I think we need a break.”

 

**[JOHNNY]: jaehyun, we have a show tonight**

**[JAEHYUN]: im sorry but i dont think i can do it**

**[JOHNNY]: christ**

**[JOHNNY]: you need to get out of your dorms**

**[JAEHYUN]: im not really feeling up to it.**

**[JOHNNY]: i know, but just go out. at least on a walk**

**[JOHNNY]: stop leaving me on read bitch**

**[JAEHYUN]: fine ill go out**

 

**jae @jjaehyun ᐧ 15m**

i went outside but it just kept reminding me of you. i should’ve stayed in.

 **1** reply **3** retweets **15** likes

**johnny @suhjoh ᐧ 5m**

_Replying to_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

im coming over jae

 

**doyoung @kimdy ᐧ 2m**

i’ll come back to you, just give me time

 **1** reply **0** retweets **5** likes

 **moonie @moontaeil** **ᐧ 1m**

im coming over

 

“Doyoung?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you break up with him?”

“We had an argument.”

“About what?”

"Taeil, you know what it was about.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry Doyoung.”

“It’s fine Taeil, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Well it wasn’t yours either.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have a right to your privacy.”

“But we were in a relationship. Relationships need communication. And I couldn’t give him that.”

“Doyoung, it took you years to tell me and I’m your best friend. It’s understandable that it’s hard for you.”

“It shouldn’t be though. I-I should-”

“You don’t have to.”

“But I should! I should be ready to tell him, to tell everyone! I just don’t know why I’m not.”

“Because it’s hard. Most people don’t go through what you’re going through, and you do a good job of hiding it.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Listen, if you want to tell him, tell him. If you don’t want to, then don’t. At the end of the day, just make the decision that’s right for you.”

“How do I do that?”

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

“Then tell him.”

 

Dear Jaehyun,

Can we talk?

From,

Doyoung

 

“Oh fuck, shit, god damn, fucking-”

“Jae, jesus christ what’s got you so messed up?”

“Johnny, look!”

“What am I supposed to be looking at—wait is that the letter writing app we used in psych?”

“Yes, but that’s unimportant! What the fuck do I do?!”

“See what he wants to talk about.”

 

Dear Doyoung,

Yeah, let’s meet up.

From,

Jaehyun

 

Dear Jaehyun,

Meet me at my dorm room.

From,

Doyoung

 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“It’s good to see you Jaehyun.”

“It’s good to see you too.”

“Yeah…”

“...”

“...”

“Doyoung-”

“Jaehyun-”

“Oh sorry go ahead-”

“No you go first-”

“I insist.”

“Okay, I guess. Uh, um, I asked you to come here to talk.”

“Right.”

“So let’s talk.”

“Let’s.”

“This is really awkward and I know you don’t trust me-”

“Doyoung, I do trust you. But I don’t think you trust me.”

“I’m trying! It’s just hard.”

“Why? Why is it so hard for you to open up to me?”

“Because it’s not really my story to tell!”

“I don’t know what you mean!”

“Stop-stop yelling. Please.”

“...you’re right. I’m sorry Doyoung. Maybe I should just go-”

“No! Stay, please. I-I can tell you.”

“Okay.”

“My family has a problem with mental issues, sp-specifically my mom.”

“...oh Doyoung-”

“When I was really little she was diagnosed with schizophrenia, so there’s that. Uh, I guess I didn’t really realize anything was wrong for the longest time until I met other people’s families. But then it was everywhere. She used to yell, a lot.”

“Doyoung, I’m-I’m so sorry.”

“She throws a lot of stuff, I can’t count the amount of times I’ve swept up broken glass. And she-she used to hit us. But, I don’t know, I think I deserved it.”

“You didn’t.”

“But I still love her, she’s my mom! And she’s not all terrible, I think she’s a really good person who loves me too, and it’s something out of my control. It’s just, hard? I don’t know. This really shouldn’t affect me the way it does, but it does. The police have showed up at our door before because of disturbance calls and it was maybe one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. And then it’s like—I shouldn’t be humiliated because mental illness shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of but I am. I’m just so worried all the time that people will find out, and all of that makes me a horrible person.”

“You’re not.”

“I feel bad for my dad. It’s like he’s taking care of my brother, me, and my mom.”

“He’s really strong. You’re really strong.”

“But I’m not—I ignore it. I pretend she doesn’t exist. I don’t tell anyone.”

“Because they don’t need to know—fuck, I don’t need to know. I’m so sorry-”

“You shouldn’t be! You were right, relationships need communication and I couldn’t do that.”

“God I feel so shitty Doyoung. I’m such an asshole.”

“No you’re not, I’m the asshole for not telling you.”

“How about we settle for both being assholes?”

“I can live with that, but I still think I’m the only one.”

“Another thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you—uh—want to try again?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

 

 **jae @jjaehyun** **ᐧ 1m**

things are looking up again.

 **0** replies **1** retweet **1** like

 

Dear Jaehyun,

Thank you for giving us a second chance.

From,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

I’m sorry for messing up. You’re the one, Doyoung. I don’t think I can lose you again.

From,

Jaehyun

 

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“Jaehyun, it’s 10 PM.”

“So? It’ll be a night walk.”

“I don’t think it’ll be safe.”

“I’ll keep you safe.”

“Ugh, you’re so cheesy.”

 

“This is nice, huh?”

“...maybe you were right about the night walk.”

“Kim Doyoung? Admitting I was right? Who are you?”

“Fuck off.”

“Oh, you love me.”

“I do.”

“...what?”

“I, I really do.”

“You-”

“Jung Jaehyun, I love you.”

“Oh my god.”

“Holy shit, wait are you crying?”

“No, maybe, yes? I just, I just love you so much.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Kim Doyoung, I love you too.”

 

“ _Ah...Jaehyun_ -”

“Yeah baby?”

“We need—we need to go back.”

“Back where?”

“ _Oh_ -”

“Use your words baby.”

“Go back to the dorm.”

“Why?”

“We are not having sex in the middle of a public park.”

“Mmm, kinky.”

“Jaehyun— _stop, oh my god_ —we need to go back.”

“I don’t think it seems like you want to.”

“If we leave now I’ll do anything you want.”

“ _Anything?_ ”

“Anything.”

“I’m calling an Uber.”

 

 **moonie @moontaeil** **ᐧ 1h**

doyoung just told me something so fucking gross ew everyone avoid the park next to the science building🤢 johnny and i would never

 **3** replies **12** retweets **58** likes

 **doyoung @kimdy** **ᐧ 53m**

 _Replying to_ **_@moontaeil_ **

we didnt have sex in the park!!!

 **jae @jjaehyun** **ᐧ 51m**

 _Replying to_ **_@moontaeil_ ** _and_ **_@kimdy_ **

yeah we just made out a lot

**johnny @suhjoh ᐧ 42m**

_Replying to_ **_@moontaeil @kimdy_ ** _and_ **_@jjaehyun_ **

pls,,,,, im begging u,,,,,,,, texting exists,,,

 

“Jaehyun stop! That tickles. What are you even doing?”

“Tracing my name on your back.”

“You’re so annoying.”

“If you thought I was annoying you would’ve never agreed to move in.”

“I had other reasons.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Well for starters, we’ve just graduated so I needed somewhere to live.”

“Uh huh.”

“Don’t think I don’t notice where your hands are going right now.”

“Why else?”

“This place is close to my job— _oh_.”

“And?”

“And I may have a _tinsy tiny crush_ on my roommate.”

“Just a ‘tinsy tiny’ one?”

“It might be a big one. Maybe even love.”

“Good.”

“Jaehyun, stop! What are you trying to accomplish right now?”

“Just trying to christen the bed.”

 

**[JAEHYUN]: how’s your visit going?**

**[DOYOUNG]: it’s been fine. she’s in a good mood today so we’re just having some family time**

**[JAEHYUN]: good. are you staying overnight?**

**[DOYOUNG]: yeah i think so :/**

**[JAEHYUN]: :(( well i’ll miss you**

**[DOYOUNG]: i’ll miss you too. love you**

**[JAEHYUN]: i love you too**

 

“I want you to meet my parents.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Jaehyun, we’ve been dating for long enough, it’s time that you’ve met them. Just—just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“That you won’t judge.”

 

Dear Doyoung,

I know you’re probably curious as to what I thought about them, and I’m sorry I just gave you vague answers like “it was fine.”

They’re nice people, they really are. I can see how they raised such a perfect human being. It’s a hard situation for me to understand, but I can tell that you all love each other.

I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with all of this, but I’m so proud of the fact that you’re all still together. Your mother was lovely, and I’m amazed at how strong you all are.

Love,

Jaehyun

 

Dear Jaehyun,

Thank you.

Love,

Doyoung

 

“Doyoung, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Seriously, what’s wrong? You’ve been in a mood all day. What are you thinking about?”

“...schizophrenia is genetic, you know.”

“Oh.”

“I-It’s been on my mind a lot.”

“I don’t think you’re going to-”

“I know the odds are low. But I think you should do something.”

“What is it?”

“If I ever show symptoms, even the smallest ones, I need you to breakup with me.”

“What?!”

“Don’t yell.”

“Oh, fuck sorry Doyoung. What do you mean?”

“I watched my dad experience the woman he loved crumbling away. I don’t want you to have to experience that. So if I start showing symptoms, break up with me and save yourself from the pain.”

“No.”

“No? Jaehyun, what do you mean?”

“I’m not going to break up with you.”

“But-”

“No. We’re going to deal with this together.”

“I don’t want to put you through that!”

“Well I don’t want you to keep ignoring your problems, so let’s talk about this. I’m going to love you forever, no matter what state you’re in. Mental illness doesn’t change who the person is.”

“It does though! You don’t understand-”

“No, maybe I don’t. But I do understand how much I love you, and I love you too much to let you go like that.”

“Jaehyun-”

“I’ll stand by you no matter what, Doyoung.”

 

 **doyoung @kimdy** **ᐧ 42m**

thank you for loving me.

 **2** replies **8** retweets **48** likes

 **jae @jjaehyun** **ᐧ 39m**

 _Replying to_ **_@kimdy_ **

thank you for being in my life.

**moonie @moontaeil ᐧ 31m**

yall are so dramatic on the tl now

 

“Rough day at work Jae?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“The boss just decided to tell us all of our designs were shit so we have to completely redesign the blueprints now.”

“Sounds horrible.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“You know what would make you feel better right now?”

“Cuddling with you, Doie?”

“Mmm, maybe later. But how about a candlelit dinner and then a warm bath?”

“Oh that sounds amazing, baby.”

 

**Business Trip**

_Sent by: Kim Jongin (_ [ _kjongin@smarchitecture.com_ ](mailto:kjonin@smarchitecture.com) _)_

 _Received by: Jung Jaehyun (_ [ _jungjaehyun@gmail.com_ ](mailto:jungjaehyun@gmail.com) _)_

Jaehyun,

The board and I have decided to send you to Busan for a few days to talk to LMTLSS TECH about their new headquarters building. Apparently they want to implement this new state of the art security system that might interfere with the base designs.

Thanks,

Kim Jongin, Design Department Head

SM Architecture

 

**Re: Business Trip**

_Sent by: Jung Jaehyun (_ [ _jungjaehyun@gmail.com_ ](mailto:jungjaehyun@gmail.com) _)_

 _Received by: Kim Jongin (_ [ _kjongin@smarchitecture.com_ ](mailto:kjonin@smarchitecture.com) _)_

Jongin,

Thanks for the notice! I’ll get onto that ASAP.

Best,

Jung Jaehyun, architect

SM Architecture

 

_Brring...brring...brrin-_

“Doyoung? I’m on the train back home now.”

“How was the trip?”

“It was fine, we just had to move a few things around but construction hasn’t started yet so it was relatively easy.”

“Good.”

“So, why’d you call? It’s late.”

“I was just lonely.”

“Oh? It was only a few days.”

“I’m trying to tell you I missed you dummy. Hey! Stop laughing at me!”

“I missed you too.”

“Are you alone right now?”

“Yeah, the train compartment is empty...why?”

“Mmm, no reason.”

“Doyoung, what are you doing right now?”

“ _Ah_ … nothing.”

“ _Baby_.”

“You’ll be back in Seoul in a few hours right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, see you then. I hope you like your surprise.”

“Surprise? Doyoung, baby, I swear-”

“Bye Jae! Love you!”

“...fuck.”

 

**[DOYOUNG]: thank you for coming, you didn’t have to**

**[JAEHYUN]: it’s your mom’s birthday, of course i’d come**

**[JAEHYUN]: also lmao we’re sitting across from each other, why are we texting?**

**[DOYOUNG]: my older brother is a snoop**

**[DOYOUNG]: fuckin gongmyung**

**[JAEHYUN]: smh stop being so mean to your brother. is this going to be how you treat our kids?**

**[DOYOUNG]: our kids??**

**[DOYOUNG]: jaehyun????**

**[DOYOUNG]: JAEHYUN**

**[DOYOUNG]: I SEE YOUR PHONE BUZZING ANSWER ME**

**[DOYOUNG]: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘OUR KIDS’??????**

 

“Morning, baby.”

“Morning, Jaehyun. I made pancakes.”

“Hell yeah, your pancakes are the best!”

“You’re so easy to please.”

“The most beautiful man in Seoul is standing in front of me, in our shared apartment, wearing my shirt, with hickies that I made, and he just made me pancakes. Of course I’m happy.”

“Do you ever get sick of being this cheesy? I’m gagging.”

“With you? Never.”

 

Dear Jaehyun,

You forgot your lunch at home.

Love,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

I can’t believe I still have this app on my phone lmao. And :( I’ll have to buy something.

Love,

Jaehyun

 

Dear Jaehyun,

I’m gonna eat your lunch.

Love,

Doyoung

 

Dear Doyoung,

Fuck you I want to eat that sandwich. Just because you work from home doesn’t mean you can abuse your power.

Love,

Jaehyun

 

Dear Jaehyun,

Sorry, can’t hear you over the sound of me eating this sandwich.

Love,

Doyoung

 

“I think you’re being stupid.”

“Johnny and Taeil said they would meet up with us at the Small World at 2 PM, so we have three hours on our own. Therefore, I think we should go ride Space Mountain since we have enough time to wait in line!”

“Jaehyun, I am not going to wait in line for an hour and a half for a rollercoaster.”

“But it’ll be fun!”

“Stop whining you big baby—Oh my god look at the castle!”

“It’s pretty.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Disney.”

“Me too. Actually, this is perfect. Give me a second—”

“Uh okay?”

“—okay I’m ready.”

“Jaehyun? Why did you just give your phone to that lady? Wait, what are you doing? Jaehyun?!”

“You’ve been by my side for years now, and those years have been the happiest of my life-”

“Oh my god.”

“So what better place to do this than the happiest place on earth?”

“Jaehyun-”

“You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met, just one conversation with you makes me feel like I’ve learned a thousand things. I’ve learned what motivates you, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, and how beautiful you look when you laugh. You’re the strongest person I know, and I know I don’t deserve even looking in your direction but-”

“I’m gonna cry-”

“Kim Doyoung, will you marry me?”

“...”

“Doyoung?”

“I-I’m crying, sorry. But yes! Yes! Yes!”

 

**Dear Doyoung,**

_Dear Jaehyun,_

**We’ve been writing letters to each other for 5 years now.**

_I can’t believe we’ve been together for only 5 years, it feels like a lifetime_.

**When you suggested this I thought it was crazy, but it makes so much sense.**

_When I told you that we should write our wedding vows in a form of a letter you were confused at first._

**We’ve always written letters.**

_It’ll be the cutest thing, and we need to beat how adorable Johnny and Taeil’s wedding was_.

**It’s a little weird to physically write them instead of using that app from our college psych class, but shoutout to Professor Kim, I guess.**

_Thanks to that one psych class for getting us together, and for also boosting my GPA._

**Doyoung, I stand before you and I wonder how you settled for me.**

_Jaehyun, you are the kindest person in the world, I don’t deserve you_.

**You’re the strongest person I know, and you inspire me everyday.**

_You’ve accepted me for all of my flaws_.

**I love waking up next to you, I love the way your eyes look when they’re fighting away sleep so we can talk for two more minutes,**

_The love I feel for you is infinite, you’re my rock, my sun, and my everything_.

**I love the way you’re so accepting to others.**

_You’ve taught me how to open up, and have healthy relationships with my friends and family_.

**Without you in my life, it would be grey and dull, but then you walk in and it’s like all of my problems fade away.**

_We’ve been through everything together, and we’re about to do that forever._

**I’ve said it before, but I’ll stand by you no matter what.**

_The future is so scary, but somehow I’m not afraid when I’m with you_.

**I know you’re worried, you worry about everything, you worry too much. But everything’s going to be okay.**

_You promised to stay with me no matter what happens, and I promise the same._

**In a few minutes, we’ll be married, and I’ll be the happiest person in the world. I hope I can make you the same.**

_I adore you, more than you’ll ever know_.

**Love,**

**Jaehyun**

_Love,_

_Doyoung_

**Author's Note:**

> hello! so some of doyoung's experiences with mental illness were inspired by my own struggles with it in my family, so i tried to depict it as accurately as possible but i'm sorry if i didn't do a good job.  
> [cc](curiouscat.me/xuminghaooutsold)  
> [twitter](twitter.com/markleewyd)


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